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League of Extraodinary Queues
Given that the cinemas in Brighton are universally unkempt fleapits with seating that remains seat-shaped by dint of willpower alone the Fox and I decided to sample the delights of Cureville tonight. Now for those as hasn't been there, Cureville boasts a rather lovely cinema, with a bar ... and seats! Apparently the notion of pre or post cinematic relaxation is a foreign concept to the establishments in Brighton, in fact I'm amazed they haven't installed a conveyor belt ... actually, on reflection, they probably have but it's broken.
But I digress.
The plan was that we would grab a bite to eat then watch The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen feeling pleasantly sated. Unfortunately, although there are three restaurants in the same complex as the cinema, each of them had a waiting time of at least 20 minutes which, when ordering, preparation and eating time time were taken into account left us probably arriving late to the movie. So we skipped food. At least, I skipped food, the Fox ventured into the depths of McMurders, ordered a "Big Mac and medium Coke" and received a cheeseburger for 99p. I understand from his retelling of the tale that the gentleman who was serving him knew only the words "ninety-nine" and "pence" and assumed that any of the suspicious, paper packages behind him had identical contents ... I leave it to you, gentle reader, to decide whether this latter is true or not. Suffice it to say that the Fox and mister McAsylum-Seeker did not speak the same language which is a positive disadvantage when one is at the customer-interface end of a business.
So, we headed off to the cinema with an hour to kill before Pearl and Dean started, no room in the bloody bar and only a faux-leatherette bench to sit on. Still, we made the best of it until the time came to head into the auditorium.
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen is what can best be described as a 'romp' ... if you take it too seriously you'll have a miserable time. There are a number of appaling continuity errors (of particular note is Dorian Grey's regenerating clothing) and poor-quality matte effects (the London skyline is justdreadful) not to mention whole tracts of the film which are, too put it mildly, too far-fetched to be credible (the viewer is advised to put his or her brain onhold throughout the Venice sequence. Nevertheless, I do like a good bit of steampunk and the gorgeous Sean Connery is ... well ... gorgeous throughout (although entirely too overdressed for my taste). By the way, I'd be very grateful to anyone who has read the Alan Moore graphic novel if they could tell me why Mina Harker doesn't disintegrate when standing in full sunlight. All in all, I don't regret seeing it but, that said, it isn't nearly as good a film as some I've seen recently. One particularly bright point was the trailer for the Return of the King which had me in goosebumps throught ... a shame really, when a trailer overshadows the main feature.
But now my bottle of hungarian Chardonnay is finished and I shall avail myself of one more cigarette before retiring, so I shall bid you a fond goodnight.
Goodnight.
But I digress.
The plan was that we would grab a bite to eat then watch The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen feeling pleasantly sated. Unfortunately, although there are three restaurants in the same complex as the cinema, each of them had a waiting time of at least 20 minutes which, when ordering, preparation and eating time time were taken into account left us probably arriving late to the movie. So we skipped food. At least, I skipped food, the Fox ventured into the depths of McMurders, ordered a "Big Mac and medium Coke" and received a cheeseburger for 99p. I understand from his retelling of the tale that the gentleman who was serving him knew only the words "ninety-nine" and "pence" and assumed that any of the suspicious, paper packages behind him had identical contents ... I leave it to you, gentle reader, to decide whether this latter is true or not. Suffice it to say that the Fox and mister McAsylum-Seeker did not speak the same language which is a positive disadvantage when one is at the customer-interface end of a business.
So, we headed off to the cinema with an hour to kill before Pearl and Dean started, no room in the bloody bar and only a faux-leatherette bench to sit on. Still, we made the best of it until the time came to head into the auditorium.
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen is what can best be described as a 'romp' ... if you take it too seriously you'll have a miserable time. There are a number of appaling continuity errors (of particular note is Dorian Grey's regenerating clothing) and poor-quality matte effects (the London skyline is justdreadful) not to mention whole tracts of the film which are, too put it mildly, too far-fetched to be credible (the viewer is advised to put his or her brain onhold throughout the Venice sequence. Nevertheless, I do like a good bit of steampunk and the gorgeous Sean Connery is ... well ... gorgeous throughout (although entirely too overdressed for my taste). By the way, I'd be very grateful to anyone who has read the Alan Moore graphic novel if they could tell me why Mina Harker doesn't disintegrate when standing in full sunlight. All in all, I don't regret seeing it but, that said, it isn't nearly as good a film as some I've seen recently. One particularly bright point was the trailer for the Return of the King which had me in goosebumps throught ... a shame really, when a trailer overshadows the main feature.
But now my bottle of hungarian Chardonnay is finished and I shall avail myself of one more cigarette before retiring, so I shall bid you a fond goodnight.
Goodnight.
no subject
I erefer you to comments in your own post on the subject... ;-p
Are you becoming a Bruckheimer Apologist?
It's shit. And you can polish and gold-plate shit all you like, but it doesn't change it's essential turdyness.
Re: Are you becoming a Bruckheimer Apologist?
Gosh its like people complaining about Blade being unlike the comics....
As to return of the King... I sincerely hope the trailer doesnt overshadow its own film and they turn out a pretty but annoying Mish mash like the two towers was...
sulk sulk fecking Arwen Bollox....
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Then again, Quatermain's a raddled opium addict, Griffin's (The Invisible Man's) an utterly amoral rapist, Hyde is a monster with no redeeming features whatsoever, there's no Dorian Gray or Tom Sawyer, and the plot revolves around stolen Cavorite and an underworld battle between Fu Manchu and Moriarty, who is not protrayed as a comical serial villain.
Nor does the graphic novel include clockwork cars everyone knows how to drive, a Nautilis that is half a mile long in the open sea and small enough to get into a Venetian canal in the next shot, 1917-era tanks in 1899, Venice (in any way, let alone collpsing), Carnevale held in october, or any of the other selections of badly-polished turds that were used in this film in place of plotting, characterisation or, for instance, dialogue.
It's shit.
Go thee, read the graphic novel, and weep. This is the worst GN-to-film adaption since Tank Girl.
I could go on at some length, but I would just be repeating myself. See my journal passim ad nauseam.
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And The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen had Sean Connery in it ... which makes it a fine film by my lights (The Avengers being the exception to that rule).
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no subject