Awash with romance and alcohol, Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Bard portrays predatory binidj (Jet Li), the ever pretty s0b (John Malkovich), and a linguistics professor—pax_draconis (Joe Pantoliano). As proven by a series of lie detector tests afterwards, love is somewhat in the air. As two-dimensional as the characters may seem, their problems are as fierce as the fiendish pieces of origami giving them paper cuts.